So here we are, a pandemic going on. The current (temporary) norm is everyone work from home. We secure what we can of course, and many of us are use to working from home, at least some times, but what else is available to do?
Myself, I’ve been working on CTFs from tryhackme.com and making a little headway in them. Many conferences have or are going virtual, and while I understand still charging for them, the ones that are not charging are appreciated. There are things like Virtual Lobby Con which happens a couple times a week. All this is great to see, but this environment has been increasing imposter syndrome, at least in me.
I am not the smartest, nor best out there. I do what I can, but community wise I feel sort of like a third wheel quite often. I don’t have any vulnerability finds under my belt. My github has stuff I have done, but much of it is just reworking of other projects out there for my own experience. Still it feels like I have not done much.
I have volunteered for a number of things, Hack4Kidz, BSides Chicago, even the new Blue Team Con, but feel like I am on the outside looking in, even when I want to be more involved and have said it straight out. I have a lot of acquaintances, and some I consider friends in the world of infosec, but feel that I get left out of a lot. Yes, I can’t make as many things as I would like to due to having a toddler at home and wanting to make sure that his stay at home mom gets time out and about, but it gets tough when all I want to do is be a part of some things and build relationships.I help with some local meetups, including helped found one, but when I am at the meetups, I tend to be on the quieter side because I don’t know as much as many of the people there. I am not trying to fool anyone, just trying to be me and learn by listening.
All this social distancing should be easy for me, but it is not. I do crave human interaction, and while online is okay, in person is what I miss. I am getting too much time to ponder on all of this, too much time to let my brain beat itself down, and bring me down with it. All I know is that imposter syndrome has been getting larger and larger, which is why I ask, what are you doing to keep yourself sane during these times? Feel free to post here, or hit me up on twitter (@siliconshecky).
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